Learning to authentically share who we are….can be like navigating a minefield. You just never know…which reaction or response to any given situation is going to end up with some sort of explosion to deal with or pleasant acceptance…it really can go either way!
It is understandable why we avoid allowing ourselves to just BE.
What are we “supposed” to be?
It is my understanding, that we are “supposed” to BE, exactly what we ARE in each moment.
So…That BEing said…it also means that if we are feeling crappy, in any way shape or form. We are “supposed” to feel Crappy. It’s BEcause we need to feel crappy. It’s our internal roadmap speaking. A sign.
First step, acknowledging that I feel crappy.
The next step is asking my Self, WHY do I feel crappy? Which generally leads to a bunch of other questions.
I will spare you the gory details of all my “reflecting” through self questioning. Honestly, my “line of thought” can go pretty deep into the nether regions of my ineptitude.
What I will share, is that no matter how long it takes, no matter how many questions I ask my Self about the authenticity of my perspective, my choices, my emotions, it always seems to come back to….
Am I speaking, thinking, acting with Loving Kindness, Clarity, Honesty and Integrity? Are my intentions “pure”?
When the answer is No….I do my best, with the awareness that I have, to BE accountable. To acknowledge where my thoughts, words, and/or actions have been…..let’s just say, “Less than Desirable” and as a result counter-productive.
Then I do my best to find the lesson in it..so going forward, I am more capable of navigating my moments in ways that are Full Filling.
So…how do I pull my Self back out into navigating the world around me?
Oh…first I feel grumpy. Sometimes I even like it. That less than positive, poor me. You know what I am talking about. The dialogue we all have with ourselves that tells us how much effort we put out there, and how no one gets it or appreciates it. How unfair it is. Once and a while even “I give up” enters in there.
The fact is that learning to BE is quite a trip. If we could travel back in time..to when I had fewer years on the planet and less wisdom…I was all over the map. I was either bending over backwards to please or was in full throttle, hammer down mode….up there on my soap box, telling the world how it was and how it was going to be.
Perhaps…a wee bit passive-aggressive. Then again…I think we all are in our own times and places.
“Balance is Key” went right over my head.
It has taken a long time to go from understanding the wisdom of allowing my Self to BE and comprehending HOW to do it.
BEing is more about feeling everything you feel. The positive, the negative and everything in between.
It seems like I have have been working a long time to learn to be ok with feeling less than ok!
Turns out…the rewards are totally worth the effort.
A wee example,
It came to my attention that there was going to be a change to my daily schedule. This change was going to add some responsibility to my day. This added responsibility was perceived to come without added compensation for my efforts.
Instantly, I went from walking around happy and comfortable in my BEing, to internally grumpy, a wee bit whiny and in 10 minutes or less I had myself worked up pretty darn good. There she was…Alisa on the soap box…indignant, needing to be right about the lack of fairness, settling into a rather well constructed cantankerous mood.
Truth is I sat in that for the rest of the day. It felt crappy and I liked feeling crappy. BEcause I was right. Oh I lamented my case to my Hubby…and he agreed with me….there were a few reasons to be put out.
Then, he wisely and cautiously..(cause he’s has ample experience of Alisa on her soap box! LMAO!) helped redirect my line of thinking until there were more reasons to be reasonable and see the big picture, than be all up in the “rightness” of my chosen perspective.
The end result …… that came with conscious effort…..I had to let go of being right, in order to BE Happy.
How do we pull ourselves out of a negative state of Being?
Each of us have our own unique way to doing it. Figuring how you do it is up to you. Just as it is up to me to figure out how I do it.
Yes…we all share similarities. It is possible that your methods will work for me, and mine will work for you. That all being said…even if how I do it works for you…..how you apply the techniques I use will still be uniquely yours.
There is no Step 1 do this. Step 2 do That. Step 3 Congratulations your Finished.
No two process’ are exactly the same, because no two of us are exactly the same.
This is why, on the journey of learning to “BE”, we need to share. We need to share what works, what works less efficiently, and what really really makes it so uncomfortable that it’s well advised to stay away from!
How do I “turn my frown, upside down” (I know…wayyy hokey, but appropriate none the less! 🙂 )
Be Funny – tease yourself. Poke fun at your Internal “Grimmace” (for those of you who are unaware who Grimmace is…. Google McDonald’s characters the early years)
Be Insightful – recognized how your current aggravation is part of repeating cycle(s) in your life!
Be Kind – It’s especially helpful when you feel the opposite of kind…to BE Kind….do something nice for another Human…insert Random Act of Kindness in your day!
Be Compassionate – when you feel “judgy/critical” let your heart soften and realize that everyone struggles. None of us are impervious to overwhelm, sadness, grief, heartache, hurt, abuse (all the messy stuff in Human experience) The only differences between Humans in this aspect is the How, When, and Where of the experience.
Be Honest – Allow the courage…the inner Brave Knight…to share how you are feeling.
Be Accountable – Allow the courage to hold yourself accountable for how you have contributed to allowing the experience/situation/feelings to be created in the first place. The most challenging one in this category is when you have to recognize that “bad things” happened and the accountability rests solely on you to pull yourself up, dust yourself off, choose to heal regardless of what happened, was said or done. (Seek HELP!! Accountability requires another Human who cares enough to help you find your way to heal, and strong enough to “push your buttons” while you do it.)
Be Grateful – Gratitude is a Feeling. It is the feeling of open space in your heart and chest where amazement and awe rest. It is the ability to feel how many Blessings there really are…and choosing to see your life as Full. When we walk around focusing on what we lack…gratitude is virtually impossible to feel.
Be Joyful – What fills you up? Sing, Write, Paint, Hike, Dance, Jog, Walk, Ski, Snowshoe, Make a Snow Angel, Cook, Bake, Draw, Scrapbook…CREATE!!!, Laugh with people who you KNOW Love and Accept you for Who you are…the good, the bad and the ugly! (Big Thanks! to ALL of You who help me remember what JOY is!!! )
Be Earnest – make your efforts sincere. Allow room and acceptance for when you are just “going through” motions….recognize it when you are on Auto-Pilot…and return to sincere effort. Mean it.
Be Diligent – Moment by Moment…choose to put in your best effort. EVERY day.
Be Forgiving – No single Human is perfect. Every ONE of US screws up, drops the ball, is more Human than the rest of the world wants us to be. The only Perfect Human is the one who no longer hides the fact that they are flawed. (if anyone ever meets one…let me know, cause in my own head they are a elusive as Big Foot! 🙂 🙂 🙂 )
Be Tolerant – Another hard one…accepting pain or hardship while remaining calm and without complaint is a doozy!!! This means being able to handle what ever it is, by remaining steadfastly focused on doing what you can, and taking none of the reactions/responses personally. Remember…removing yourself from the physical place or person may be required!
BE Patient – Rome took a while to build…focus on how worth while your efforts ARE in learning to Allow the world to SEE YOU…as you ARE…fearless of judgement, criticism, resilient to the onslaught of negativity that interacting with life throws your way. Knowing, trusting, fortifying your Faith in the awareness of “I AM the only person who capable of Healing me, enough to “BE”.
The Journey involved with Learning to “BE” takes as long as we choose it. There is no easy route (if someone knows of one…again…let me know! PLEASE! 🙂 LOL! I mean it …no joking…no sarcasm involved in the above statement!!!!!!!
What I have discovered is that we ARE capable of creating the journey to BE as long and painful as possible, we can make ourselves literally sick and tired.
We can learn to choose to feel everything, choose how long we wish to stay in a state of suffering, choose to learn from everything we feel and get off our duffs and DO something about it. What that “DO” is, will vary with every experience. Like every other “template”, adjustments along the way are part of the process.
In order to “BE” you, remember….who you were yesterday is a slightly different version of who you are today. To “BE” allows us to morph, grow, change in seriously well earned and quite often magickal ways. To “BE” is to allow your full potential to manifest through healing enough to accept that we are flawed. Every one of us, without exception.
Big Bright Blessings and Gratitude,